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Entry tags:
Tiger & Bunny - Kotetsu/Barnaby h/c
Title: In Need
Fandom: Tiger & Bunny
Pairing: Kotetsu/Barnaby
Length: 3000 words
Rating: PG at most
Summary: Kotetsu's powers didn't stop declining at one minute. When they're gone for good, Barnaby's there.
Notes: De-anoned from the meme, again.
****
"One Minute" had been kind of a misnomer from the start. He was at about a minute and twenty seconds when he came back from retirement, which proved that his power declined whether he used it or not. By spring he was down to fifty-five seconds. He did his best to keep everyone updated, especially Bunny. He tried to use all the tools at his disposal, to save his power for when he'd need it most rather than using it just to get a powerful jump or a burst of speed like he once had. When Agnes wanted to promote Bunny to the first league, he pushed himself to qualify to move up with him, because they were partners, and he wouldn't hold Bunny back for anything.
But that just meant that as he dropped, five seconds at a time, over the summer, everyone he knew was there to see it.
It stabilized for a while in the fall - he was only losing fractions of a second at a time - and he got adept enough at doing without his powers that he managed to come in at sixth when the season ended, but he knew that Bunny had handed him an arrest or two, and he'd have been at seventh even with that if Fire Emblem hadn't been sidelined with an injury for part of the season. In the last episode of the season, he had twenty-two seconds of power. Saito had changed his countdown to a timer.
At the after-party, he told one suit after another, "I owe my standing to my talented partner's support, and Fire Emblem's injury time," with the same canned, self-deprecating laugh. A few new sponsors wanted to talk to him, and he knew that could only mean that his existing sponsors were dropping out. The new candidates all had ideas for additions to his suit - weaponry, grappling hooks (like he didn't already have his wire guns) and some kind of rocket boot that he privately suspected would take his foot off. He told them all to talk to Apollon. Saito could sort them out. Maybe some would come in handy, once his powers were gone for good.
What bothered him was that they were all assuming that would happen. He knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, but he'd been trying not to think about it, and he'd sort of hoped no one else was giving it much thought either. The other heroes had done him the favor of pretending not to think that way. And then one of the suits - he thought he'd already fobbed the guy off once - said that his progressive power loss was "one of the most compelling storylines of the season." He heard those words, and he kept smiling, and shook hands with the man, but he went straight for the champagne once he got away.
That was where Bunny found him. "I think we can slip out soon," he said.
"Great." He tipped his glass back. Why the hell people went for champagne when they wanted to celebrate... beer was a much happier drink.
"What happened?" Bunny looked at him, eyes full of concern. Not for the first time, Kotetsu wondered what he'd done to deserve this man for a partner.
"I'm a compelling storyline!" Kotetsu told him, savagely cheerful. "I should be happy, right?"
"Agnes." Barnaby's eyes narrowed, then he lifted his head, searching the room for her.
"Hey, hey. It's okay. She wasn't the one that said it, just some... I dunno. Sponsor's rep or someone. Sure, maybe he got it from her, but she has to think that way, keeps the show going."
"The sponsors don't, though, and saying that to your face... do you remember who it was?"
"That bald guy with the green tie. Over there talking to Origami. Didn't catch his name."
"I'll be right back," Bunny said. Kotetsu fiddled with his champagne flute as he watched Barnaby introduce himself. Given how quickly Origami fled once Barnaby got the guy's attention, Baldie was probably just being a jackass to everyone. He was all smiles as he and Barnaby shook hands, then Barnaby said something to him that made him draw back as if offended, though he still had the same fake, jovial smile. Barnaby gave him his own charming fake smile, then just stood his ground as Baldie's grin faltered and he slunk away. Kotetsu felt a bit like applauding. Bunny returned to Kotetsu's side, walking slowly as he tapped at his PDA. "We can keep his company off your suit, at least."
"Aww, Bunny." Kotetsu wanted to hug him, but he didn't want to make a big tipsy scene, and Bunny might not appreciate it in public anyway.
"So what'd you say to him?" Kotetsu asked him later, in the limo.
"I asked for his and his company's name. Nothing harmful in the least."
"Uh huh."
"I may have mentioned overhearing what he said to you."
Overheard - so it didn't even look like Kotetsu'd sent him after he'd been bullied by the big mean sponsor. Kotetsu threw his arms around his partner, but overbalanced a bit and ended up half in his lap. Barnaby patted his shoulder. "You're a good partner, Bunny. Best partner I've ever had."
"I'm the only partner you've ever had."
"Best partner a guy could want," he added, a lot quieter. "You think I could still be a hero once it's all gone?" Bunny didn't answer, but Kotetsu felt the hug. "You don't, huh."
"Of course I do." Barnaby levered him upright. "I know you never read the suit specs, but Saito's already working on some new tools for yours. We both know how to rely on our suits without powers when we need to. You lose some speed and mobility, but we can adjust for that. Raw power isn't what you need in most confrontations, so your strength isn't as important."
Kotetsu felt his shoulders sag a little. It was all true, but more than a bit disheartening to hear it laid out that way. He used to be nearly bulletproof, armor or no. He used to be able to twist steel like a pretzel, lift cars. Storylines end, he thought. Eventually, he wouldn't be able to keep up.
Barnaby tried not to make it obvious that he was keeping track of the number. Kotetsu kept him updated, but he didn't want to make a point of recording it. The rate of decline was so irregular - sometimes just fractions of a second, sometimes several seconds at once. Kotetsu was trying to break himself of his habit of keeping problems under wraps. This one was certainly widely known. But he couldn't help feeling that Kotetsu was keeping his feelings, if not the fact itself, bottled up. Maybe he'd really come to terms with it; maybe his enjoyment when he tried out new suit features was genuine. Barnaby, used to repressing his own emotions until he reached the breaking point, had no idea how to approach him about the subject.
Three weeks into the new season, Kotetsu lost eight seconds at once. He'd snared a fleeing suspect with his wires, tangling the man's ankles as he tried to leap from one building's roof to the next. The suspect tripped and went over the edge, and when Kotetsu's powers went out, he nearly followed before Barnaby caught him around the waist. "Arms," Kotetsu gasped, and Barnaby yelled for Sky High to bring the man up before the strain got worse, because he didn't think he could let go of Kotetsu right now even to help reel the criminal in.
He didn't want Kotetsu to see how badly he was shaken, but the old man was incredibly perceptive in some areas, possibly in compensation for his denseness in others. "If I'd been at my normal strength when I caught the guy, it wouldn't have been a problem," Kotetsu told him in the Apollon truck. "I could have braced, and pulled him in myself. It was the fact I wasn't prepared."
"I understand," Barnaby said.
"I'll be more careful at high altitudes, okay?"
"All right," Barnaby said, because he knew that saying Please retire before you're seriously hurt or killed would accomplish nothing except driving Kotetsu away, especially since Barnaby wasn't sure he'd be able to say the second part, because I don't think I could live through that. This was important to Kotetsu, and he knew the new suit developments would help. Barnaby had been working on some ideas with Saito himself.
"Heh, maybe I should have a parachute," Kotetsu said, and Barnaby tried to smile. Twelve seconds, he thought. How much longer?
Kotetsu lost a second on the next mission. Then three. Then it was back to fractions, and then two more seconds. A second and a half. That left him at just barely over four seconds. Barnaby tried to stay behind him, when he could, so they wouldn't have any more close calls, and their teamwork suffered because Kotetsu was used to relying on him to take his own approach. For all that Kotetsu had a hard time trusting him with vital information, it was clear now that he'd trusted him on the job. Kotetsu didn't confront him about it, just smiled, insisted he was fine, and headed home; no shared dinners or motorcycle rides, no offers of alcohol. Barnaby tried not to torment himself wondering if this would get worse or better at the end.
On their next few missions, it counted down with painful regularity, one second lost each time. Kotetsu was, true to his word, being careful of heights; he mostly used his powers now to close the distance toward a suspect or a citizen, making the arrest or rescue without powers. Barnaby tried not to watch him too closely, knowing how it felt not to be trusted. That was why he didn't see Kotetsu's final use of his powers until later, because they'd split up to try to corner their suspect.
In the replay - it was replayed over and over - Kotetsu anchored his wire to the side of a building, swung down on it, and tried to kick off another building to redirect himself. The moment he used his powers was visible, the suit lighting up as it did, but then it flickered and went out, and Kotetsu lowered himself to the ground, released the wire, and stood for a moment. Barnaby had heard the sigh over his suit's audio; he didn't know the reason for it, but he'd had a suspicion even at the time. On the video, Kotetsu then tapped his helmet, put up his faceplate, and made a call on his PDA. That was all. Contacting the truck to retrieve him. When they all gathered after the episode was done, Kotetsu was seated on the truck's back bumper, still in his suit, and everyone gravitated to him.
"So that was it," he said, maybe a bit too loudly. "From here on out it's just my suit and my training."
"Good thing you're tough," Bison said. Blue Rose's lower lip seemed to be quivering, but for once no one was pointing it out.
"You aren't retiring again, are you?" Dragon Kid asked.
"Not if I can help it," Kotetsu said, laughing. Forced laughter. Couldn't everyone hear it? But they were all clustered around him, because somehow the old man had managed to be important to all of them, one way or another, and Barnaby decided just about anyone would be a better comfort than he felt he could be right now. He let himself into the truck so he could change.
It was probably ten minutes later when Kotetsu did the same. Barnaby looked up as he entered. "You okay, Bunny?" Kotetsu asked.
This man... "Are you?"
"We knew it was coming, right? I'll be fine." That hadn't actually been a yes. Not in the present tense. Barnaby didn't say so. He felt hollowed out, not so much sad as empty. They'd always had their shared powers. In the first months of their partnership, that was the most visible sign of their teamwork; their powers would shut down at virtually the same moment because, independent of each other, with no spoken cue, they'd both activated them at the same time. It had almost been a sign of the link between them. Despite all their differences, they still had this in common. They hadn't just lost a tie, with Kotetsu's powers. There was the risk of Kotetsu being hurt, or worse, and the fear that he might decide that couldn't compete, that he was a burden or a danger. Barnaby half wanted him to retire for his own safety, and half dreaded the loss of their partnership.
He sat while Kotetsu changed. He waited while the older man rummaged through his pockets, jingling his change. "I'm trying to remember where I parked," Kotetsu finally said, with a sheepish grin.
"I remember where I parked. Can I give you a lift home?"
"Sure. Or, hey, the Chasers."
Which would make it harder to talk. Well, he should follow Kotetsu's lead in this, shouldn't he? "Good idea."
Kotetsu took a minute, when the bike pulled up in front of his house, to resettle his hat on his head before he climbed out of the sidecar. Part of him just wanted to be alone, so he could put some distance between himself and the moment it just wasn't there anymore. But he hadn't been spending much time with Bunny, who seemed pretty upset himself. "Come on in," he said, as he unlocked the door.
Inside, he headed straight for the kitchen. "Get you a drink?" he asked. "Water, juice, anything?" Barnaby shook his head. Kotetsu poured himself some whiskey, and took it to the couch. "Sorry, Bunny," he said. "I know I haven't been very good company for a while now. Probably won't be tonight either."
"You don't need to be." Bunny sat next to him on the couch.
"I hope I don't slow you down too bad already," he said. "I know this doesn't make much of a difference from how it's been... but it still feels different. Reaching for something that's not there... I've had it since I was in kindergarten, you know?" Barnaby nodded. "I guess you would. You're the only one that would." He put the glass on the coffee table, untouched. "I thought about using it off duty - just burning it off so I wouldn't have to lose it on camera. But I figured, you never know when a second will make a difference." Another nod. Bunny still looked sad, or maybe worried. Maybe both. "Cheer up, Bunny," he said. "It's..." Dammit. He could feel his eyes prickling. "It's not the end of the world, right?"
"Kotetsu..." Bunny's voice was so soft. Kotetsu choked out a sob as he felt Bunny's arms go around him, and now the tears were coming.
"I just had it so long," he said, his voice sounding choked. "Feels like I'm missing a hand." Bunny's arms tightened around him, and he put his arms tentatively around his partner's waist. "I should have stayed out. I'm already dragging you down."
"No, you're not!" Bunny protested. "You're not. Don't ever think that."
"It's true," Kotetsu said. "I can't compete."
"It's not a competition." He felt Bunny kiss the top of his head, and he curled in closer, burying his face against the front of his partner's jacket. "You always said it's about helping people, not about points. You were the one that taught me that."
"But like this I'm just in the way." He didn't want to let go of Bunny, even if the tears dried up.
"No, you're not. Did you see how everyone went to you as soon as they could? Everyone cares about you."
"Doesn't mean I can help anyone..." He was back in that skating rink, watching the sky fall in, unable to save Kaede in time. He was helpless, for every day for the rest of his life.
"That's not true." God, Bunny sounded like he might cry. "Kotetsu... think about what I was like when we met. I changed because of you. Not your powers, you."
"That's not..."
"It's true!" he insisted. "You helped me. It didn't take your powers."
"Yeah," Kotetsu said softly. "I'm sorry, Bunny. I didn't mean to get you upset too."
"It hurts to see you unhappy. I can't help that." Bunny was rubbing his shoulders. "You just don't give yourself enough credit for anything other than your powers."
"They're all I have. They were." He felt more tears coming. "Everything good I ever had was because of them." Tomoe and Kaede and Bunny. And his powers had never been enough to save any of them.
"Kotetsu, you remember when we fought Maverick. You saved Kaede without your powers. The same for me, when we fought Jake." Kotetsu nodded, silent, against Bunny's chest. "And even if you stop being a hero, we're still partners. We'd be partners if we were both... waiters. Librarians."
"Wouldn't be very exciting," Kotetsu said, feeling himself beginning to smile anyway. "Probably. Depending on the library."
"I wouldn't care."
"Really?" Kotetsu lifted his head, searching Barnaby's face for some sign of a joke. But Bunny's face was close, and his lips were close, and Kotetsu decided just to close his eyes and kiss Bunny back.
They'd finally fallen asleep together on top of the covers on Kotetsu's unmade bed, after hours of talking and crying and holding each other. They were still mostly dressed, and while Barnaby's heart still ached for his partner, and while he knew Kotetsu would be grieving for some time, it was hard not to feel like the sun was brighter today than it had been the day before.
****
Fandom: Tiger & Bunny
Pairing: Kotetsu/Barnaby
Length: 3000 words
Rating: PG at most
Summary: Kotetsu's powers didn't stop declining at one minute. When they're gone for good, Barnaby's there.
Notes: De-anoned from the meme, again.
****
"One Minute" had been kind of a misnomer from the start. He was at about a minute and twenty seconds when he came back from retirement, which proved that his power declined whether he used it or not. By spring he was down to fifty-five seconds. He did his best to keep everyone updated, especially Bunny. He tried to use all the tools at his disposal, to save his power for when he'd need it most rather than using it just to get a powerful jump or a burst of speed like he once had. When Agnes wanted to promote Bunny to the first league, he pushed himself to qualify to move up with him, because they were partners, and he wouldn't hold Bunny back for anything.
But that just meant that as he dropped, five seconds at a time, over the summer, everyone he knew was there to see it.
It stabilized for a while in the fall - he was only losing fractions of a second at a time - and he got adept enough at doing without his powers that he managed to come in at sixth when the season ended, but he knew that Bunny had handed him an arrest or two, and he'd have been at seventh even with that if Fire Emblem hadn't been sidelined with an injury for part of the season. In the last episode of the season, he had twenty-two seconds of power. Saito had changed his countdown to a timer.
At the after-party, he told one suit after another, "I owe my standing to my talented partner's support, and Fire Emblem's injury time," with the same canned, self-deprecating laugh. A few new sponsors wanted to talk to him, and he knew that could only mean that his existing sponsors were dropping out. The new candidates all had ideas for additions to his suit - weaponry, grappling hooks (like he didn't already have his wire guns) and some kind of rocket boot that he privately suspected would take his foot off. He told them all to talk to Apollon. Saito could sort them out. Maybe some would come in handy, once his powers were gone for good.
What bothered him was that they were all assuming that would happen. He knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, but he'd been trying not to think about it, and he'd sort of hoped no one else was giving it much thought either. The other heroes had done him the favor of pretending not to think that way. And then one of the suits - he thought he'd already fobbed the guy off once - said that his progressive power loss was "one of the most compelling storylines of the season." He heard those words, and he kept smiling, and shook hands with the man, but he went straight for the champagne once he got away.
That was where Bunny found him. "I think we can slip out soon," he said.
"Great." He tipped his glass back. Why the hell people went for champagne when they wanted to celebrate... beer was a much happier drink.
"What happened?" Bunny looked at him, eyes full of concern. Not for the first time, Kotetsu wondered what he'd done to deserve this man for a partner.
"I'm a compelling storyline!" Kotetsu told him, savagely cheerful. "I should be happy, right?"
"Agnes." Barnaby's eyes narrowed, then he lifted his head, searching the room for her.
"Hey, hey. It's okay. She wasn't the one that said it, just some... I dunno. Sponsor's rep or someone. Sure, maybe he got it from her, but she has to think that way, keeps the show going."
"The sponsors don't, though, and saying that to your face... do you remember who it was?"
"That bald guy with the green tie. Over there talking to Origami. Didn't catch his name."
"I'll be right back," Bunny said. Kotetsu fiddled with his champagne flute as he watched Barnaby introduce himself. Given how quickly Origami fled once Barnaby got the guy's attention, Baldie was probably just being a jackass to everyone. He was all smiles as he and Barnaby shook hands, then Barnaby said something to him that made him draw back as if offended, though he still had the same fake, jovial smile. Barnaby gave him his own charming fake smile, then just stood his ground as Baldie's grin faltered and he slunk away. Kotetsu felt a bit like applauding. Bunny returned to Kotetsu's side, walking slowly as he tapped at his PDA. "We can keep his company off your suit, at least."
"Aww, Bunny." Kotetsu wanted to hug him, but he didn't want to make a big tipsy scene, and Bunny might not appreciate it in public anyway.
"So what'd you say to him?" Kotetsu asked him later, in the limo.
"I asked for his and his company's name. Nothing harmful in the least."
"Uh huh."
"I may have mentioned overhearing what he said to you."
Overheard - so it didn't even look like Kotetsu'd sent him after he'd been bullied by the big mean sponsor. Kotetsu threw his arms around his partner, but overbalanced a bit and ended up half in his lap. Barnaby patted his shoulder. "You're a good partner, Bunny. Best partner I've ever had."
"I'm the only partner you've ever had."
"Best partner a guy could want," he added, a lot quieter. "You think I could still be a hero once it's all gone?" Bunny didn't answer, but Kotetsu felt the hug. "You don't, huh."
"Of course I do." Barnaby levered him upright. "I know you never read the suit specs, but Saito's already working on some new tools for yours. We both know how to rely on our suits without powers when we need to. You lose some speed and mobility, but we can adjust for that. Raw power isn't what you need in most confrontations, so your strength isn't as important."
Kotetsu felt his shoulders sag a little. It was all true, but more than a bit disheartening to hear it laid out that way. He used to be nearly bulletproof, armor or no. He used to be able to twist steel like a pretzel, lift cars. Storylines end, he thought. Eventually, he wouldn't be able to keep up.
Barnaby tried not to make it obvious that he was keeping track of the number. Kotetsu kept him updated, but he didn't want to make a point of recording it. The rate of decline was so irregular - sometimes just fractions of a second, sometimes several seconds at once. Kotetsu was trying to break himself of his habit of keeping problems under wraps. This one was certainly widely known. But he couldn't help feeling that Kotetsu was keeping his feelings, if not the fact itself, bottled up. Maybe he'd really come to terms with it; maybe his enjoyment when he tried out new suit features was genuine. Barnaby, used to repressing his own emotions until he reached the breaking point, had no idea how to approach him about the subject.
Three weeks into the new season, Kotetsu lost eight seconds at once. He'd snared a fleeing suspect with his wires, tangling the man's ankles as he tried to leap from one building's roof to the next. The suspect tripped and went over the edge, and when Kotetsu's powers went out, he nearly followed before Barnaby caught him around the waist. "Arms," Kotetsu gasped, and Barnaby yelled for Sky High to bring the man up before the strain got worse, because he didn't think he could let go of Kotetsu right now even to help reel the criminal in.
He didn't want Kotetsu to see how badly he was shaken, but the old man was incredibly perceptive in some areas, possibly in compensation for his denseness in others. "If I'd been at my normal strength when I caught the guy, it wouldn't have been a problem," Kotetsu told him in the Apollon truck. "I could have braced, and pulled him in myself. It was the fact I wasn't prepared."
"I understand," Barnaby said.
"I'll be more careful at high altitudes, okay?"
"All right," Barnaby said, because he knew that saying Please retire before you're seriously hurt or killed would accomplish nothing except driving Kotetsu away, especially since Barnaby wasn't sure he'd be able to say the second part, because I don't think I could live through that. This was important to Kotetsu, and he knew the new suit developments would help. Barnaby had been working on some ideas with Saito himself.
"Heh, maybe I should have a parachute," Kotetsu said, and Barnaby tried to smile. Twelve seconds, he thought. How much longer?
Kotetsu lost a second on the next mission. Then three. Then it was back to fractions, and then two more seconds. A second and a half. That left him at just barely over four seconds. Barnaby tried to stay behind him, when he could, so they wouldn't have any more close calls, and their teamwork suffered because Kotetsu was used to relying on him to take his own approach. For all that Kotetsu had a hard time trusting him with vital information, it was clear now that he'd trusted him on the job. Kotetsu didn't confront him about it, just smiled, insisted he was fine, and headed home; no shared dinners or motorcycle rides, no offers of alcohol. Barnaby tried not to torment himself wondering if this would get worse or better at the end.
On their next few missions, it counted down with painful regularity, one second lost each time. Kotetsu was, true to his word, being careful of heights; he mostly used his powers now to close the distance toward a suspect or a citizen, making the arrest or rescue without powers. Barnaby tried not to watch him too closely, knowing how it felt not to be trusted. That was why he didn't see Kotetsu's final use of his powers until later, because they'd split up to try to corner their suspect.
In the replay - it was replayed over and over - Kotetsu anchored his wire to the side of a building, swung down on it, and tried to kick off another building to redirect himself. The moment he used his powers was visible, the suit lighting up as it did, but then it flickered and went out, and Kotetsu lowered himself to the ground, released the wire, and stood for a moment. Barnaby had heard the sigh over his suit's audio; he didn't know the reason for it, but he'd had a suspicion even at the time. On the video, Kotetsu then tapped his helmet, put up his faceplate, and made a call on his PDA. That was all. Contacting the truck to retrieve him. When they all gathered after the episode was done, Kotetsu was seated on the truck's back bumper, still in his suit, and everyone gravitated to him.
"So that was it," he said, maybe a bit too loudly. "From here on out it's just my suit and my training."
"Good thing you're tough," Bison said. Blue Rose's lower lip seemed to be quivering, but for once no one was pointing it out.
"You aren't retiring again, are you?" Dragon Kid asked.
"Not if I can help it," Kotetsu said, laughing. Forced laughter. Couldn't everyone hear it? But they were all clustered around him, because somehow the old man had managed to be important to all of them, one way or another, and Barnaby decided just about anyone would be a better comfort than he felt he could be right now. He let himself into the truck so he could change.
It was probably ten minutes later when Kotetsu did the same. Barnaby looked up as he entered. "You okay, Bunny?" Kotetsu asked.
This man... "Are you?"
"We knew it was coming, right? I'll be fine." That hadn't actually been a yes. Not in the present tense. Barnaby didn't say so. He felt hollowed out, not so much sad as empty. They'd always had their shared powers. In the first months of their partnership, that was the most visible sign of their teamwork; their powers would shut down at virtually the same moment because, independent of each other, with no spoken cue, they'd both activated them at the same time. It had almost been a sign of the link between them. Despite all their differences, they still had this in common. They hadn't just lost a tie, with Kotetsu's powers. There was the risk of Kotetsu being hurt, or worse, and the fear that he might decide that couldn't compete, that he was a burden or a danger. Barnaby half wanted him to retire for his own safety, and half dreaded the loss of their partnership.
He sat while Kotetsu changed. He waited while the older man rummaged through his pockets, jingling his change. "I'm trying to remember where I parked," Kotetsu finally said, with a sheepish grin.
"I remember where I parked. Can I give you a lift home?"
"Sure. Or, hey, the Chasers."
Which would make it harder to talk. Well, he should follow Kotetsu's lead in this, shouldn't he? "Good idea."
Kotetsu took a minute, when the bike pulled up in front of his house, to resettle his hat on his head before he climbed out of the sidecar. Part of him just wanted to be alone, so he could put some distance between himself and the moment it just wasn't there anymore. But he hadn't been spending much time with Bunny, who seemed pretty upset himself. "Come on in," he said, as he unlocked the door.
Inside, he headed straight for the kitchen. "Get you a drink?" he asked. "Water, juice, anything?" Barnaby shook his head. Kotetsu poured himself some whiskey, and took it to the couch. "Sorry, Bunny," he said. "I know I haven't been very good company for a while now. Probably won't be tonight either."
"You don't need to be." Bunny sat next to him on the couch.
"I hope I don't slow you down too bad already," he said. "I know this doesn't make much of a difference from how it's been... but it still feels different. Reaching for something that's not there... I've had it since I was in kindergarten, you know?" Barnaby nodded. "I guess you would. You're the only one that would." He put the glass on the coffee table, untouched. "I thought about using it off duty - just burning it off so I wouldn't have to lose it on camera. But I figured, you never know when a second will make a difference." Another nod. Bunny still looked sad, or maybe worried. Maybe both. "Cheer up, Bunny," he said. "It's..." Dammit. He could feel his eyes prickling. "It's not the end of the world, right?"
"Kotetsu..." Bunny's voice was so soft. Kotetsu choked out a sob as he felt Bunny's arms go around him, and now the tears were coming.
"I just had it so long," he said, his voice sounding choked. "Feels like I'm missing a hand." Bunny's arms tightened around him, and he put his arms tentatively around his partner's waist. "I should have stayed out. I'm already dragging you down."
"No, you're not!" Bunny protested. "You're not. Don't ever think that."
"It's true," Kotetsu said. "I can't compete."
"It's not a competition." He felt Bunny kiss the top of his head, and he curled in closer, burying his face against the front of his partner's jacket. "You always said it's about helping people, not about points. You were the one that taught me that."
"But like this I'm just in the way." He didn't want to let go of Bunny, even if the tears dried up.
"No, you're not. Did you see how everyone went to you as soon as they could? Everyone cares about you."
"Doesn't mean I can help anyone..." He was back in that skating rink, watching the sky fall in, unable to save Kaede in time. He was helpless, for every day for the rest of his life.
"That's not true." God, Bunny sounded like he might cry. "Kotetsu... think about what I was like when we met. I changed because of you. Not your powers, you."
"That's not..."
"It's true!" he insisted. "You helped me. It didn't take your powers."
"Yeah," Kotetsu said softly. "I'm sorry, Bunny. I didn't mean to get you upset too."
"It hurts to see you unhappy. I can't help that." Bunny was rubbing his shoulders. "You just don't give yourself enough credit for anything other than your powers."
"They're all I have. They were." He felt more tears coming. "Everything good I ever had was because of them." Tomoe and Kaede and Bunny. And his powers had never been enough to save any of them.
"Kotetsu, you remember when we fought Maverick. You saved Kaede without your powers. The same for me, when we fought Jake." Kotetsu nodded, silent, against Bunny's chest. "And even if you stop being a hero, we're still partners. We'd be partners if we were both... waiters. Librarians."
"Wouldn't be very exciting," Kotetsu said, feeling himself beginning to smile anyway. "Probably. Depending on the library."
"I wouldn't care."
"Really?" Kotetsu lifted his head, searching Barnaby's face for some sign of a joke. But Bunny's face was close, and his lips were close, and Kotetsu decided just to close his eyes and kiss Bunny back.
They'd finally fallen asleep together on top of the covers on Kotetsu's unmade bed, after hours of talking and crying and holding each other. They were still mostly dressed, and while Barnaby's heart still ached for his partner, and while he knew Kotetsu would be grieving for some time, it was hard not to feel like the sun was brighter today than it had been the day before.
****