Ace Attorney: Gumshoe, Edgeworth, and Franziska

[lirillith]

Title: Tea and Sympathy
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Characters: Gumshoe, Edgeworth, Franziska
Word count: ~900 words
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: There's really only one way to help Miles Edgeworth recover after an earthquake.

****

The earthquake wasn't that strong, maybe a four point something, but that wasn't what mattered in the moment. Prosecutor Edgeworth covered his ears with his hands and fell to his knees, and all Dick Gumshoe could ever do was hover comfortingly, squeeze his shoulder or something, and try to help him get back on his feet.

He wasn't used to having Ms. von Karma there doing the same thing, though. That was kind of terrifying. At least she was totally ignoring him, saying, "Miles. Miles, it's over now." Mr. Edgeworth just hunched over more. Gumshoe wasn't sure she was helping, but then he couldn't imagine anything she ever said being comforting. Other than maybe, like, "I lost my whip," or "I'm retiring."

She had dropped her whip, though. That was reassuring. So he squeezed Mr. Edgeworth's shoulder, and said, "I'll go make you some tea, sir. That'll help, right?"

"Scruffy. No. Stay here. I will go."

"Um..."

"Your tea is vile. Stay." And with that she was out, heels hitting the tile like drumbeats. He was still waiting for the day she'd order him to sit or heel.

"Vile? That's... kinda harsh." He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, then crouched down next to Mr. Edgeworth again.

"Accurate, though," Mr. Edgeworth said. He'd sat down on the floor. He was still pale and a little sweaty, and he had one arm pressed across his midsection, but at least he wasn't covering his ears anymore, so he was winding down a little. "As you know."

"I thought it was English people who were all particular about tea. Didn't you and her grow up in Germany?"

"The von Karma family strives for perfection in all things. If tea can be perfected..."

"Huh." That seemed to be the end of that, so he just kept his mouth shut. He was pretty sure Mr. Edgeworth would have been just as happy to be alone at a time like this, but you couldn't just go off and leave a guy who looked like he'd just had a heart attack, could you? Unless he wanted you to, maybe. "Normally I'm the one making the tea here. Do you, uh, need me to go? Since normally I'd leave you be for a while?"

"Hm." Mr. Edgeworth pulled a hankie out of his pocket — white linen, nothing too fancy — and wiped his face carefully. His brows compressed into a familiar frown, and he said, "I dislike the company less than I expected, even if your terrible tea is also part of my... recovery ritual."

"Like, I better get to feeling better so he won't make me more?"

"Something like that."

"Well, glad I can help, then!"

"Ah, have you finally found your use, Scruffy?" Franziska had managed to sneak up like some kind of German lawyer ninja, and she was carrying tea in some fancy china cup on a fancy china saucer. So that was already about ten steps up from his own styrofoam cup offerings.

"You might be surprised, Franziska," Mr. Edgeworth said, taking the tea and saucer from her. She might not be, but Gumshoe sure was, since compliments from Mr. Edgeworth were about as scarce as pay raises.

"A pity. I hoped it would come in the form of convincing you to move out of California."

"Don't you think I spend enough time overseas as it is?"

"Yet you make your headquarters on an active fault line despite this phobia."

"I have my reasons." He sipped the tea. "If you want to improve my quality of life so badly, give Gumshoe lessons on making tea."

Being looked up and down by Franziska von Karma gave Gumshoe a little taste of what Mr. Edgeworth probably experienced during an earthquake — it sure made him want to curl up in a fetal position, anyway — and the way she kind of smirked when she was done didn't help any. "Where would I begin?"

"Hey, you can't tell how I make tea just by looking at me, pal! I mean. Sir."

"I would guess a microwave is involved at some point, correct?"

Mr. Edgeworth shuddered visibly, and Gumshoe blurted out, "How'd you know?"

"Americans." She had multiple degrees of smirk, and this got a smirkier smirk than usual. "You see, Miles? Hopeless."

"Nonetheless, I'm feeling better now." He stood up — the tea didn't even splash, somehow — and handed the cup and saucer to Gumshoe so he could dust himself off. Gumshoe held it in both hands, convinced he was going to squeeze too hard and shatter the frilly little things. "If the two of you will finish collecting the evidence without me, I'll be — seated outside."

He collected the tea, and walked out. Gumshoe would never get over the way the man could dust himself off and actually catch all the dusty parts. He never could on himself.

"Scruffy," Ms. von Karma said, and Gumshoe jumped. Good thing he didn't have the tea anymore or it would have been all over him, and probably Mr. Edgeworth too. "Do these happen often?"

"Earthquakes? Not too often, not so you can feel it. I've heard there are little ones no one can feel happening all the time all over the place, but things like this — last one was a couple years ago? But then there were like three in a row, about the same strength. So it's, uh, it's unpredictable. Sir."

"Hmm. I had best teach you how to make tea, then."